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Tuesday, October 02, 2012

a few thoughts i had:

the one thing i have found that i have struggled with the most since Riley was born, was the back and forth with myself feeling like being a mom was suppose to be enough.  that every morning i am suppose to wake up and be completely fulfilled that my role in life is being a mom.  the truth is that's not the case for me and that has made me feel so very guilty.  i get frustrated with myself that i want to be able to put him down and go make something & just be creative.  i have so many passions in my life and it's been hard to swallow that i am 'suppose' to put them aside now.  i don't know where this notion came from, no one told me that is what i am suppose to do, but i think as a mom you do that to yourself.  that when you have a free minute it would be better spent on doing something for my family than for myself.

i really don't mean to sound selfish.  that is not what this is about.  i love Riley with all my heart and my family comes first before everything.  if Riley or Wayne needed something i would stop everything i was doing to help and be with them.  i think this is more about the idea that it's ok to still feel passionate about the things i love.  and that it's ok to still feel like those things make up who you are, as well as being a mom.  

i want to be that.  i want to show Riley what i am passionate about.  i want to share that with him.  i want to take him on adventures and show him all the things that his mommy & daddy loves and appreciates.  i want to be the best mommy to him and i need to work out how to allow myself to be that without feeling that i am 'loosing' me.  

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  1. sussie, I think it will take time for you to get to the point of having time again for all the things you are passionate about, right now Riley is a handful but that will change soon. He will grow up a little, he needs more attention now than he will in a few more months. And i know you'll do anything for your family, you've always been that way, and that's still who you are. It's also always important that you keep doing what you love and feel passionate about. :) you'll figure something out :)

    Love you always xx

  2. thank you my lovely sister! love you loads xxx


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